I think about our course a lot. From discussions with you and current events to things I experience in my life. Last week my cat was very sick. Super-high temperature (105F) with no obvious cause. Neither the ER or my regular vet could identify a cause, but did put her on antibiotics. She was so sick one night that she actually lay on my chest all night long--she must have been exhausted to do so. I know she is just cat, but she is very important to me. Here's the point relating to class: I think she almost died. AND I also think that I would not have had the opportunity to comfort her if she weren't so sick.
Relatedly, you know that I sometimes sit with patients in Hospice of the Bluegrass' 11th Hour Program, for people who are alone but actively dying. I've also done this a few times for relatives/friends. Those few times allowed me a connection with the family of the patient that I otherwise would not have. So perhaps in the broader sense -- not just the particular patient -- "suffering" or at least dying over a period of time is meaningful. Perhaps we should think about examples like these when we think about prolonging dying, supporting a natural dying, and/or hastening death.
Sorry to hear about your cat Dr. Cate. Hopefully she is doing much better. And, she might just be a cat, but I think anyone who has ever had a pet knows that they are just as much a part of the family as an actual human being is. I know when I had my dog I often wished that he could talk to me and actually tell me what was wrong so that I could help or comfort him more. I think the same could be said for those who are really sick and we wish that we could do so much more for them. Also, for those who do not have any family and are alone actively dying, it is nice to know that someone is around to care and comfort them. Like you, I think about this course often and the things I have read during the semester. I have told many people that as much as this class seems to constantly remind me of the loss of my grandma and make me have questions, I think that it has helped me to understand things much more and process things better. Her loss has been the hardest for me, and I'm not sure if that is because I'm so far away and little things remind me of her so often, or if it is because she was my last grandparent to die and she was an extremely big part of my family’s life, along with our small farming community. Or, perhaps it is all of that. I believe that sitting in this class has definitely made it easier to talk about death, as we have said all along, it is not something that people openly talk about. I know when I first went home in January and told people that I was in the Death & Dying class when I got the news about grandma, a lot of people looked at me strangely and thought it was a really weird class to be taking. Anyways, I just wanted to share my thoughts.
I can agree that there can be meaning in dying over a period of time. First it gives those who are about to die more time to wrap up some things if they haven't but it also gives those around them time to soften the blow. In addition, some people could have one of the most special moments of their life in the time it takes for them to expire. Especially thinking of those who are in hospice but have no relatives or visitors while they're dying. Those last few days of having some one even if its a stranger with them could fulfill one last part of their life before they died.
I think it is really cool how you sit with patients when they are on their death bed. When people are lonely and don't have anyone, I feel they feel like they don't have a reason to live. When people come along and just sit and talk with them, it makes them feel important and want to continue to live. Even though you are a stranger to some of the patients, you sitting and talking to them, may not feel like a lot, but I think it can save them from dying because they want to live to talk to you tomorrow. I really do feel like people choose when they die and when they have someone by their side, it makes them want to continue on and not die.
I agree with Brian- it takes a strong person to be able to stay with a complete stranger who is actively dying. If I were to be on my deathbed and it happened that none of my family or friends could be there, even the presence of someone I did not know would be a tremendous comfort to me. I think that this stems from our human nature as social creatures- we need social interaction, even if it is not someone we know personally. Simply the knowledge that we are not alone makes it easier to confront challenges in life, especially the final challenge we all face- death.
I think about our course a lot. From discussions with you and current events to things I experience in my life. Last week my cat was very sick. Super-high temperature (105F) with no obvious cause. Neither the ER or my regular vet could identify a cause, but did put her on antibiotics. She was so sick one night that she actually lay on my chest all night long--she must have been exhausted to do so. I know she is just cat, but she is very important to me. Here's the point relating to class: I think she almost died. AND I also think that I would not have had the opportunity to comfort her if she weren't so sick.
ReplyDeleteRelatedly, you know that I sometimes sit with patients in Hospice of the Bluegrass' 11th Hour Program, for people who are alone but actively dying. I've also done this a few times for relatives/friends. Those few times allowed me a connection with the family of the patient that I otherwise would not have. So perhaps in the broader sense -- not just the particular patient -- "suffering" or at least dying over a period of time is meaningful. Perhaps we should think about examples like these when we think about prolonging dying, supporting a natural dying, and/or hastening death.
Sorry to hear about your cat Dr. Cate. Hopefully she is doing much better. And, she might just be a cat, but I think anyone who has ever had a pet knows that they are just as much a part of the family as an actual human being is. I know when I had my dog I often wished that he could talk to me and actually tell me what was wrong so that I could help or comfort him more. I think the same could be said for those who are really sick and we wish that we could do so much more for them. Also, for those who do not have any family and are alone actively dying, it is nice to know that someone is around to care and comfort them.
DeleteLike you, I think about this course often and the things I have read during the semester. I have told many people that as much as this class seems to constantly remind me of the loss of my grandma and make me have questions, I think that it has helped me to understand things much more and process things better. Her loss has been the hardest for me, and I'm not sure if that is because I'm so far away and little things remind me of her so often, or if it is because she was my last grandparent to die and she was an extremely big part of my family’s life, along with our small farming community. Or, perhaps it is all of that. I believe that sitting in this class has definitely made it easier to talk about death, as we have said all along, it is not something that people openly talk about. I know when I first went home in January and told people that I was in the Death & Dying class when I got the news about grandma, a lot of people looked at me strangely and thought it was a really weird class to be taking. Anyways, I just wanted to share my thoughts.
I can agree that there can be meaning in dying over a period of time. First it gives those who are about to die more time to wrap up some things if they haven't but it also gives those around them time to soften the blow. In addition, some people could have one of the most special moments of their life in the time it takes for them to expire. Especially thinking of those who are in hospice but have no relatives or visitors while they're dying. Those last few days of having some one even if its a stranger with them could fulfill one last part of their life before they died.
DeleteI think it is really cool how you sit with patients when they are on their death bed. When people are lonely and don't have anyone, I feel they feel like they don't have a reason to live. When people come along and just sit and talk with them, it makes them feel important and want to continue to live. Even though you are a stranger to some of the patients, you sitting and talking to them, may not feel like a lot, but I think it can save them from dying because they want to live to talk to you tomorrow. I really do feel like people choose when they die and when they have someone by their side, it makes them want to continue on and not die.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brian- it takes a strong person to be able to stay with a complete stranger who is actively dying. If I were to be on my deathbed and it happened that none of my family or friends could be there, even the presence of someone I did not know would be a tremendous comfort to me. I think that this stems from our human nature as social creatures- we need social interaction, even if it is not someone we know personally. Simply the knowledge that we are not alone makes it easier to confront challenges in life, especially the final challenge we all face- death.
ReplyDelete