Monday, May 5, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
Good Friday & Hospice
Good Morning, Students,
I thought you might want to know that I witnessed a death early this morning, while I was on-shift with hospice in the 11th hour program. I took the 3am-8am shift because I didn't have work today and knew I could sleep during the day if necessary.
The nurse came in maybe around 4am? I explained who I was, said I was on-shift until 8am. She said, I don't think you'll be here that long. And she was right. The death was very peaceful -- breathing slowed and then finally stopped. No "death rattle," nothing dramatic, just stopped. I got the nursing aid to confirm the death, which she did, and then the nurse came back from wherever she had been working.
I didn't pay attention to the time when I thought she had stopped breathing. I wanted confirmation from a professional that what seemed to have happened really did happen. I was a tiny bit surprised when the nurse asked me what time she died, which was needed for the official paperwork. I checked the time I called in to hospice and then subtracted a few minutes. I think I was responsible for the official time of death. Interesting, eh? But, obviously, who else would know better than the person who was there when the death happened?
Time of death. We mark it by the hour and the minute, but I'm not sure it is really that precise. Breathing stops, so the heart must follow soon after. But the body is still warm. If a spirit or soul leaves, when does that happen? It makes the most sense to me -- and I'm not even certain that we have spirits or even individual souls/spirits -- that the soul/psyche/anima/spirit/energy just kind of fades away. I think that's how much? most? dying must be -- just falling asleep, losing connection, fading away. Not the dramatic, fighting against death kind of dying, but the "normal," end-of-a-reasonably-long-life kind of dying. The energy source just runs out.
It feels significant to be with someone who is actively dying, but, at least for me, it doesn't feel mystical. It feels more . . . ."natural"? Not trivial by any means, but not dramatic. And not scary, either. Don't be scared about this kind of dying. Other, horrible accident, rushed-to-the-ER dying probably is very scary (we can ask Melissa to weigh in here), but not all dying is out of a movie. This is just companionship, a walking-with, holding a hand or just touching the person's arm or forehead. And then your work is done and there is a different kind of work to do by others -- washing and dressing the body, moving the body to the funeral home or wherever. Don't be scared of a body, either, in this kind of natural dying. Skin color can look different -- but someone who is alive and very sick also might have an "unnatural" skin color. Being with someone you don't know is moving, meaningful, significant and that moves me to tears, but it isn't sad the way the death of someone you know, or know well, is sad, wrenching, dizzying, and/or disorienting.
The facility was Catholic, but I'm not sure if this patient was. But how meaningful to die or be with someone dying on Good Friday, right?
It was comforting to leave in the light, to come home to furry, playful cats and have breakfast with my husband. I'm looking forward to seeing friends and family this weekend and a bright, beautiful, joyous Easter.
Peace.
I thought you might want to know that I witnessed a death early this morning, while I was on-shift with hospice in the 11th hour program. I took the 3am-8am shift because I didn't have work today and knew I could sleep during the day if necessary.
The nurse came in maybe around 4am? I explained who I was, said I was on-shift until 8am. She said, I don't think you'll be here that long. And she was right. The death was very peaceful -- breathing slowed and then finally stopped. No "death rattle," nothing dramatic, just stopped. I got the nursing aid to confirm the death, which she did, and then the nurse came back from wherever she had been working.
I didn't pay attention to the time when I thought she had stopped breathing. I wanted confirmation from a professional that what seemed to have happened really did happen. I was a tiny bit surprised when the nurse asked me what time she died, which was needed for the official paperwork. I checked the time I called in to hospice and then subtracted a few minutes. I think I was responsible for the official time of death. Interesting, eh? But, obviously, who else would know better than the person who was there when the death happened?
Time of death. We mark it by the hour and the minute, but I'm not sure it is really that precise. Breathing stops, so the heart must follow soon after. But the body is still warm. If a spirit or soul leaves, when does that happen? It makes the most sense to me -- and I'm not even certain that we have spirits or even individual souls/spirits -- that the soul/psyche/anima/spirit/energy just kind of fades away. I think that's how much? most? dying must be -- just falling asleep, losing connection, fading away. Not the dramatic, fighting against death kind of dying, but the "normal," end-of-a-reasonably-long-life kind of dying. The energy source just runs out.
It feels significant to be with someone who is actively dying, but, at least for me, it doesn't feel mystical. It feels more . . . ."natural"? Not trivial by any means, but not dramatic. And not scary, either. Don't be scared about this kind of dying. Other, horrible accident, rushed-to-the-ER dying probably is very scary (we can ask Melissa to weigh in here), but not all dying is out of a movie. This is just companionship, a walking-with, holding a hand or just touching the person's arm or forehead. And then your work is done and there is a different kind of work to do by others -- washing and dressing the body, moving the body to the funeral home or wherever. Don't be scared of a body, either, in this kind of natural dying. Skin color can look different -- but someone who is alive and very sick also might have an "unnatural" skin color. Being with someone you don't know is moving, meaningful, significant and that moves me to tears, but it isn't sad the way the death of someone you know, or know well, is sad, wrenching, dizzying, and/or disorienting.
The facility was Catholic, but I'm not sure if this patient was. But how meaningful to die or be with someone dying on Good Friday, right?
It was comforting to leave in the light, to come home to furry, playful cats and have breakfast with my husband. I'm looking forward to seeing friends and family this weekend and a bright, beautiful, joyous Easter.
Peace.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Conversations of a Lifetime
I just heard about this on the radio on my way home from work after our class tonight:
https://www.hospiceofcincinnati.org/conversations.shtml
Might help if you want to have "that conversation" this weekend.
https://www.hospiceofcincinnati.org/conversations.shtml
Might help if you want to have "that conversation" this weekend.
Monday, April 14, 2014
End of course reflections & big questions
You don't have to answer all of these prompts -- try to address 2 or 3.
What is human nature?Why is a conception of human nature of important? What does it do for us?
§ What ought we to do?
§ How ought we live?
§ What kind of society should we have?
§ Who is responsible for what and why?
§ What kind of economic & political system is just?
What have you learned about death & dying that is important to you? Is surprising to you?
Has this helped you reflect on the meaning of life?
What does life mean?
Am I living a good life?
What is death?
What’s my legacy?
Who is the patient? Patient & family obligations
Is the patient only the patient? How does the family factor in here? Who counts as family? Relatedly, what obligations does a patient have to a family? The family to the patient? To the community?
Relatedly from 20April14 "House Calls Are Making a Comeback"
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/04/20/business/house-calls-are-making-a-comeback.html?referrer=
Relatedly from 20April14 "House Calls Are Making a Comeback"
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/04/20/business/house-calls-are-making-a-comeback.html?referrer=
Futile Treatment, Duty to Die
What is futile treatment? Does a patient's desire for treatment -- even what's medically futile -- necessitate that a physician agree to provide that treatment? Does it matter if the patient can pay or not?
How Ought We To Live?
This is specifically referencing the Conclusions to your Stevenson and Barry texts, but you aren't limited to that text in building your answer.
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